Geoff Geis


Teddy Roosevelt was a grubby youngster!

Teddy Roosevelt was a grubby youngster.

When he was a kid, Teddy’s family took him on several wild adventure trips to foreign lands. In his teenage years, he went to Africa with his family. He used that trip as an opportunity to learn about taxidermy.

On these journeys, Teddy and his brother shared hotel rooms. On his side of the rooms, the young Roosevelt would keep tiny little kitten mummies – discovered in the cursed tomb of a pharaoh in the Egyptian desert – in jars of formaldehyde by the window. After the kittens had become soft enough, the future president would sew their wrinkled corpses to live rats. He would then giggle mockingly as the strange hybrid creatures ran around in circles, confused and pleading for death.

Eventually Teddy’s brother got upset with the room-sharing arrangement and asked that they be separated.


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This is Soft Sailors! We're a new band from Los Angeles. We don't have any upcoming shows scheduled, but you can hear us online:

Also, here are some solo songs I've uploaded recently to Soundcloud. I'm playing solo July 19th at the Pickle Factory at 647 Lamar Street in Los Angeles and September 1st at Los Globos in LA for a KCHUNG benefit.

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